No home of their own….

Why have some people no home to go to? I can honestly tell you it saddens me to see young people homeless or anybody for that matter. I’m pretty sure nobody wants to see a human being undignified in this way. I actually wrote a poem about the homeless a couple of years ago. It’s in my book ‘My beautiful Flower.’  Why can’t we help these people? Do more? It certainly shows our own selfish side when we turn our backs on our family or friends who need a home.
I put my hands up, I declare that I am now a selfish person and I am beginning to put my own needs first. I wasn’t always as selfish, there was a time when I wouldn’t put anybody from my door. Now I know for sure that I am too snobby to take in a homeless person. I recently read ‘Mr Stink’ by David Walliams to my daughter Yasmin and it is sadly an all too common existence.
   I consider myself to be a christian person, helping others when I can. But how much help should a person give? And is there a difference between helping and enabling?
Everybody has a role in a family home. There’s a balance of duties between husband and wife so that the house runs smoothly, especially when children come along. As the kids get older, costs get higher, parents need to work harder to bring in a better income. There’s a general understanding about this within a family. As the dependent children become independent adults, they begin to contribute to the running of the home. It’s hard work running a home and for everybody to be happy in the same house, there has to be give and take.
 I can understand anybody wanting to leave an abusive home, especially a boundary pushing young teen. They may take their chances on leaving the nest but without any sort of income, they are forced to live on the streets and are open to a vulnerability of bad choices. In this case, this is the parents fault and the state’s fault for neglecting their dependents.
If a partner puts an addict out of the home because of their inability to change their bad behaviour, they will most likely have burned the bridges of family relations also. Their lack of an income, through alcoholism and losing their job will inevitably cause them to have nowhere to live but the streets, where they at least have the freedom of not paying bills.
So is this a clue here? Is the responsibility factor missing in some people who end up homeless? Responsibility of their behaviour and responsibility as an adult?  If they were honest enough with themselves and others, they would have to face their own responsibility and the effect their behaviour has on others. If they had respect for others, they would do the work and help themselves and conform.
You would be surprised how long it takes an ordinary person, (myself) who isn’t an addict to learn the responsibility lessons in life, so I guess it may take much longer for an addict to get the message.
So, how can we help them along?
 Every other animal on the planet teaches their children to feed themselves! Do you ever see a mammy bird feeding her grown birds? No! Because they left the nest when they could fly!
Us humans are terribly effected when we see someone crying bitterly, saying ‘they can’t do it.’ But it’s a natural display of emotions and we are all very good at crying for our own misfortunes. It’s ok to see human beings cry and it’s ok to see them in emotional pain because you know that it won’t kill them. We have all had some very low emotional periods in our life and look! We are still here! I’m pretty sure I’m going to experience some more difficulties in my life. Hey, I’m not even over the difficulties from our last recession, but I’m ok! This is life! Life is full of challenges and encouraging someone through those challenges is helping them. Preventing them from going through their challenges is enabling them to stay dependent on others!
So sadly, some don’t make it through their challenges. It seems easier to keep putting that change off. Drinking may get them through this day. A bad mood might prevent them doing it the next day. Different excuses will keep coming up to prevent them from being responsible.
Yes, it’s hard to watch your adult family member living on the streets. But they made that choice. They could’ve chosen a different one. They still can. xx Jean

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